Sunday, May 1, 2016

Political Discourse 101

Welcome to political discourse 101 kids...today on the show we will be talking about the primary process because up until a few months ago most Americans were about as interested in how primaries work as they are in hearing the federal tax code read to them by Wilford Brimley.

Like with most things in this country the uninformed masses our outraged at this new information that has been around for years that they were just to lazy to research for themselves and of course now have completely wrong...so whether its the new epidemic of gay child molesters dressed like lady gaga and using the little girls room in toys r us so they can fondle your children...or the outrage over the idea that a President like Ben Franklin and Alexandria Hamilton can be removed from our money ohhhh sweet sweet sarcasm squiggles...Americans are pissed that for the first time ever they have decided to vote in a primary and now they find out there vote really doesn't count much at all in the primary process just like it has been since the history of always.

But should it count? Let's dig deeper. First off political parties our private entities not government organizations, and they are not in any way constitutional bound to even have a primary to pick their part's nominee, hell they could pick their nominee's name out of a stove pipe hat or make anyone who wants to run on their ticket jello wrestle a drunk and lubed up Randy Quade for the nomination and it wouldn't be an attack on your liberty...because it's their party, so no matter how fucked up the rules...it is there rules to fuck up.

Now if the fact your vote not counting in the republican or democrat primary makes you angry and scream oppression, let me ask you this question- are you equally as pissed off that the Transhumanist party or the Prohabition party picks their own nominee without even having a primary? I mean you virtual had zero input when the united pirate party elected their nominee for President- Joseph Kline...arrrr doesn't that just boil ye blood that these scallywags can pick their own nominee without you.

Also to consider is the broader question of not how they pick there nominee but why a Donald Trump or a Rand Paul is even allowed to run in a party they have so little in common with politically, and for that matter why was Ben Carson allowed to run at all when he has so little in common with the human race sanity wise, but that's a question for another day and for panel of mantle health experts to decide, not the American voter.

But back to my point about the party nominees why is a 30 year independent like Bernie Sanders a man whose whole platform is built around fighting the corrupt corporate power structure in government even allowed to run along side of the very Democrats those same corrupt corporations own, did someone lose a bet like in trading places? Is America being punked by Gordon Gecko?

Or is it the fact that America has a horrible 2 party system and voters are doomed election after election to pick either asshole number 1 or asshole number 2...its like the Pepsi challenge but with old out of touch white guys, and until we the people demand more choices than Comcast or Charter...Fox news or MSNBC...Tyson Foods or Nestle...we will always be the victims of too little choices in a country with so many differnt types of people, preferences and taste.

Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, April 24, 2016

No Country For Old Podcast

This weekend our fabulous 100th episode with special guest: Kory Clarke, John Lehr, Charles Thomson, Raychelle Keeling and Mike Bushman.

No Rant, No Politics, Just good clean-ish fun! Enjoy!

Happy 100 Thanks For All The Suppoert!

Sunday, April 10, 2016

1237 Or Bust

Facts Facts Facts- we don't need no stinking facts. Fact just distract us from the ever changing issues that you may be outraged by today but then totally support tomorrow when your party tells you too...like cops, war and taxing the super rich.

Who cares that many Americans believe our unemployment rate is actually anywhere between 28 and 42 percent, even though the during the great depression unemployment topped out at 26 percent and if unemployment was actually 42 percent America would cease to exist...those facts are just a distraction so make up your own...like my dad who says the reason so many businesses say they are hiring now and put help wanted signs up and run ads online looking to hire, is not because they are doing well but because they are about to go out of business and they don't want their employees or the general public to know it...tricky little bastards.


Who cares people scream Benghazi at the top of their lungs who don't even know what country Benghazi is in and totally ignore the fact the the house intelligence committee, now there is a fucking oxymoron for you, made up of Republican leadership had 4 separate investigations and proved nothing, so while they scream Benghazi they also simultaneously screaming stop government spending but could give a shit less the house republicans just got a blank check and an unlimited amount of time to continue their investigation...so If Hilary becomes President the Republicans end up spend 8 years and 5 billion more dollars on this nonsense you'll be totally OK with it...because that is totally different then feeding hungry kids...Benghazi Mother Fuckers!!!


Who cares that you are a 100 times more likely to be killed by a cop or a Christian extremist in this country than a Muslim, don't you watch YouTube Muslims behead people...and what difference does it make the average American doesn't know Shiite from Shinola or even care that Saudi Arabia is one of our biggest allies, has one of the biggest Islamic fundamentalist populations in the middle east...they keep Putin in check and keep all that sweet sweet Saudi oil flowing into our suvs...besides Benghazi!!!


And speaking of Putin who cares this Ex-KGB agent now turned shirtless bear wrestling commie dictator is thumbing his nose and the UN and gobbling up countries faster then Randy Quad gobble up Zoloft, we love his commie ass...in fact we love commies...except the Bernie Sanders kind...I mean taking over Ukraine and having secret death squads is one thing but when you start talking about free college you gotta fucking go!!! And who cares that my grandparents would be rolling over in their grave to see that 20 percent of Americans would rather have Putin as President than Obama, and 40 percent of Republicans say they would put Israels welfare before our own...after all they are patriots and whats more patriotic then saying you love America by saying you hate every single thing about America except reality TV and cheddar cheese french fries.


And finally who cares about my facts...my facts are not your facts, my reality is not your reality and my cause is not your cause so how could we ever be anything but the most bitter of enemies. 


And now a word from our sponsor...


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Sunday, April 3, 2016

No Cure For The Common People

It seems bizarre to me that my 73 year old very conservative father now has more in common with Ted Nugent (A man he once considered a hippie scumbag) than Ronald Reagan (A man he once considered to be the epitome of conservatism).

When I was growing up in the 80's my dad hated my friends, we all had long hair, listened to heavy metal, smoked pot and worked blue color usually labor intensive jobs, but as I got older and my circle of friends widened my dad had nothing but good things to say about my more well manor friends who had short hair, dressed more professionally, had good jobs and made way more money than me.

Over the past few years a strange shift has happened in America culture, the people who use to be seen as the dregs of society, long hair, tattooed roofers who still listen to Ozzy and smoke up on the weekend, have suddenly become the angry disenfranchised patriots who are now embraced as the all american working class, and my professional white color friends...well they are now seen as the politically correct liberal elite who want to destroy America with all their subversive socialist book learning.

It has been unsettling to watch my dad who loved calling me and my long haired metal head friends losers and dumb-asses as I was growing up, now stand side by side with the tattooed headbanging heavy drinking burnouts who scream Trump Trump Trump while blasting Motley Rrue songs on their Iphones.

It seems the common people, as they were referred to back then have now become the working class heroes while the educated white collar class have somehow become the enemies of freedom. And a cultured that was once shunned by very strict conservatives like my father are now held up as oppressed underdogs who want their country back.

I guess it's true- politics makes strange bedfellows, but it also eventually makes hypocrites of us all.


Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, March 20, 2016

90 Minute Political Thought Bubble

It just occurred to me that I'm a dealer...An Information Dealer!

And in this era of overly simplistic memes and misleading hyperbolic sound bytes I'm an even a hotter commodity than a drug dealer. Think about it:

I pour through mountains of data, boil it down to one entertaining episode of The Ignorance Equation or a 500 word easily digestible article and send it out to the desperate and hungry masses.

I give people a quick dangerous fix of news and the next hit is even more potent than the previous one. I deal in escapism- not From reality, but THROUGH reality!

But I'm not your typical pusher on the street selling dime bags of skunk weed to high school kids on Friday night...No! We here at The Ignorance Equation are fucking information kingpins...the Scarface of political dissent...the Pablo Escobar of civic debate, the Walter White of the information age

We are the Breaking Bad Blue Meth of Information. Our Purity Levels are through the roof. Our shit isn't stomped all over, and it's not cut with dangerous BS. Just Pure Uncut Colombian Discourse that you cannot quit or ignore.

So pick up your Fact-Pipes and come get some all American Political commentary from outside of the corrupted corporate owned media...suckers!

Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Captain American't Versus Patriotic Correctness!

No rant today, just straight panel talk. Panel Guest: Kory Clarke from Warrior Soul
Real Unbiased Commentary From Outside The Corporate Media Machine!

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Super Tuesday, Crappy Wednesday!

Well Super Tuesday has come and gone, and Wednesday was felling pretty crappy as Hilliary Clinton and Donald Trump each won 7 states a piece disseminating the other Presidential candidates and painting a grim picture for the Presidential race to come this November.

As it looks right now Hillary is all but guaranteed to be the Democratic nomination, that is if she can stay out of jail long enough to kiss enough babies and make enough appearances at the local chamber of congress, and Donald Trump will be Republican nominee unless of course the RNC drives him out of the party like corporate owned villagers with Exxon Mobile issued pitchforks and torches.

There is a small glimmer of hope however on the Republican ticket by the name of John Kasich, a man who we may never know the size of his penis, because he is just too damn classy to bring it up during a fucking live Presidential Debate, and on the left we have the true champion of the people Bernie Sanders, but because of the DNC corrupt super delegate system Bernie has a better chance of become a KKK Grand Wizard than the Democratic nominee for President.

There has been an ongoing battle of the left, and to some extent on the right, that if the race boils down to a Trump/Clinton ticket we MUST vote for one of these two unqualified corrupted sycophants or we are not doing our civic duty as fine upstanding misinformed idiot Americans.

OK so let's just ferret out this idea that I have to vote for the lesser of two evils or I'm a bad citizen argument. Imagine you and your spouse are about to celebrate your 10th anniversary, fancy dinner reservations, non refundable tickets to a show, the whole night has been planned out for months, and your babysitter backs out last minute. Now you have only two choices, get the newly released sex offender from across the street to babysit your 4 and 5 year old bundles of joy, or your meth addicted cousin who is now semi homeless because he blew up his trailer trying to make blue meth for his dart team.

Do you say, well I guess we will have go with cousin Roy because he is the lesser of two evils after all, we just have to keep our fingers crossed that instead of straight up fucking our children he will only burn down the house around them. I don't think so, in fact I think you say screw both of these choices and stay the home...so why can't we do that on election day, or at the very least write in Vermin Supreme and hope for a free pony to go with our 21st century tyranny?

America has been brainwashed, we think that we have a civic duty to vote for one of the two corrupted parties even when those choices are worst then choosing between watching the secret history of the Faberge eggs on the learning channel hosted by Gilbert Godfrey, or binge watching the Mindy Project on HULU with limited commercial interruptions, and to do otherwise is either Un-American or throwing your vote away on the person you truly believe to be the best man or women for the job.

A few years back I started the clean slate campaign, a movement to vote every single current person out of office regardless of party, and I was told by many they would never vote for the other party no matter how bad their candidate is, now is this just blind loyalty or good old fashion indoctrination that keeps us all indentured to the power elite?...I guess that question will be answered this coming November when we either vote in a quasi fascist he loves himself way more than America or a women that is more corrupt and twisted than Martin Shkreli making illegal trades from inside Turkish bathhouse.
 
Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, February 28, 2016

I Spy With My Little iPhone

Today's monologue is going to be short and sweet, mainly because it's impossible for a guy like me to rant for more than 3 or 4 minutes straight without inevitably rattling off some key phrase that would set off the google alerts of a 1000 eavesdropping NSA agents. Hi guys!

Since the inception of our country there has been a constant push and pull between national security and individual privacy, The government demands more and more intrusion on our everyday lives to keep us safe and we the people push back to ensure our inalienable rights as human beings to keep the fact we enjoy spreading our Fridays nights watching transsexual midget porn while wiping Cheetos dust on our genitals away from the prying eyes of big brother.

Now while we may all scream about the virtues of freedom on social media and carry on about how much we covet our privacy, the irony isn't lost that if you click the about button on most people's Facebook page it usually has their phone number, current town, place of birth, age, where they work, and a picture of their embarrassing 3rd nipple to boot. So private much? I think not!so while online conspiracy nut says the CIA is watching them play call of duty through the motion censor on there x-box one they are also snap cheating a picture of their junk to some random girl they just meet in a married cheaters chat room.

The truth is we all say we value privacy above all else, that is until things get a little scary then all bets are off. Have a few years of stability and the masses scream...stay out of my business, but let ISSI makes a YouTube video of a beheading and those same people ask where can send my social security and credit card numbers to remain safe. 

America your a crazy son of a bitch and I love you for it. Not also do we have the freedom to expect a certain amount of privacy in our personal life, we also have the freedom to be completely irrational hypocrites when it comes to our privacy as well...

Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Spock Killed Scalia In The Conservatory With The Wrench

So I think by now we how know how divided our country, congress and government is. Republicans and Democrats no longer see each other as political opponents to be bested but as bitter enemies to be destroyed and to never be negotiated with. The only problem is while rich politicians keep raking in millions to not do their job, we the people suffer the consequences.

Now I get that if your pro-life and think abortion is infanticide and I am pro-choice and think telling a women what to do with her own body is akin to fascism...that we're going to disagree, but what we don't get to do is go into destroy the opposition mode and wreak the whole damn country in the process.

Look at it this way. If you and your spouse have 2 kids, both boys who hate each others guts and everyday when you get home from work, there's holes in the walls from them fighting, the tv is broken from being knocked down in a tussle, the dishes are smashed from them throwing them at each other, there are a lot of different ways you might handle that situation...all ending in the statement I don't care whose fault it is this needs to stop.

However the one thing you would never do is take sides and defend your particular son against your spouse while the whole fucking house burns to the ground...why? Because that would be an act of lunacy! So unfortunately while liberals and conservatives battle it out like 2 bitter newly divorced assholes fighting over shit that doesn't even matter like who gets to keep the Bea Arthur collector plats...we are the wayward daughter who spends her time in the bathroom cutting herself and drinking drain cleaner!

Since this division started coincidentally back in 2008 when Obama took office, which has been only made worst by our partisan corporate owned media...we have seen almost every piece of meaningful legislation blocked and filibustered, our infrastructure crumbling, our world wide credit rating drop for the first time in American history and have more judicial vacancies then ever before, now including one on the supreme court. All because our government has been hijacked by a party of extremist whose ideas are more disturbing than puppy monkey baby talking a bubble bath with Lindsey Graham and whose vision board looks like a fucking mad max movie.

So here we are, only minutes after the death of Antonian Scalia Republicans released a statement declaring that not only would they not confirm ANY chief justice nominee Obama put before them, they would stick their fingers in their ears and scream nanannana I can't hear you when Obama submits his nomination. And on the other side of the political razor wired fence liberals came out with a barrage of hateful tweets celebrating the death of a man who weather you agree with his politics or not, did dedicated over 50 years of his life to serving we the people! Shameful!


Now I know all the hate, fear mongering and propaganda can be overwhelming at times, so it might help to think of the two parties like the left and right Twix. That is if left Twix was a politically correct elitist gluten free treat owned by wall street billionaires and right twixt was an insane crazy asshole GMO flavored snack own by corporate billionaires...with average Americans as the wrapper of a poisonous chocolate caramel political candy bar that none of us can seem choke down.
 
Speak Now Consequences Later

Monday, February 15, 2016

Special Some Assembly Required Mini-Episode

Special One Hour Monday Mini-Episode:

No Monologue, No Kettle Of Fish, No Guest. Just the gang talking about the new direction of the show.

Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, February 7, 2016

The Lesser Of Too Many Evils

Well it's that time of the year again, primary season and this years list of presidential candidates is sadder than a Martin O'Mally congratulation cake. With Tuesday's Iowa Caucus behind us primary season is officially in full swing, and I am glad to see what a professional electoral system Iowa has for determining who will ultimately run for the highest office in the land.

Who says the people of the Hawkeye state are a bunch of backwards corn shucking dirt farmers...after all they decide there elections through the cutting edge process of paper ballet results for delegates, people lining up on either side of the room to indicate who they voted for...and flipping a freaking coin to decide districts to close to call, so I guess the we are using the logic of the batman villain Two-face now...who said the only law that maters is the law of averages...to decide primary results...good to know maybe the next President can have Judge Dread nominate our next supreme court justice and Doctor Octopus reform healthcare.

Now it is no secret that I am a sanders supporter, a Berner, a Bern bro, I'm feeling the Bern, I have a bad case of Marxist fever, and for me Bernie is the only true outsider running for office, because he is the only candidate running who truely wants to get money out of politics, repeal citizens united and stop our legislation from being written by the legal team at Pfizer.

Unlike all the other candidate who our bankrolled by corrupt corporate fat cats whose agenda is to own the government and turn our country into America incorporate a division of Glaglumafuck industries, except for Donald Trump who doesn't need any of corporate Americas dirty blood money because he already is a corrupt corrupt fat cat whose agenda is to own the government and turn our country into America incorporate a division of Glaglumafuck industries.

And on a side note can I just I love love love the argument that Trump cannot be corrupted by corporate dollars because he is already a billionaire...that's like saying the fat guy at the buffet won't go back for seconds because he's already obese! Anywho...

In closing in a primary season that has already seen contested election results, brutal to ridiculous campaign ads, vicious mudslinging and more macho posturing than Kenya West at the Grammys, it's almost impossible to say at this point who will square off this November for the office of the Presidency...but I will say this, the 2016 years election cycle is the best season of who wants to be commander in chief I have ever seen!
 
Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Middle Finger Politics

Ah remember not long ago when America really started getting over the top crazy and stupid, and we would say things in jest like "Whatta we going to do nominate next presidential candidate from a reality tv show, or just wait people are getting so dumb next they'll be coming out and saying the earth is flat, or wow this show really sucks maybe The Mindi Project will get picked up by hulu, gag gag squiggle squiggle...madness right. Yet here we are a few short years later and the things we used to joke about have become our reality!

If someone had said 10 years ago that Presidential candidates would be cussing in their speeches along the campaign trail worst than a tourette's syndrome victim at a soccer game, or that people would be having chicken pox parties and refusing to get their kids vaccinated because they trust a dumb ass like Jennie Macarthy over their own pediatrician, or that terms like "Legitimate rape" and "Anchor Babies" would become accepted political philosophies, or that we would actually be having a debate on weather or not we should sell guns to people on the FBI terrorist watch list- your friends and family may suggest it's time for you to check into a nice calm mental health facility, that is if there were any left after Ronald Reagan closed them all down and kicked the mentally ill to the curb.

So here we are it's 2016 and at the rate we are going by the time my daughter Vivian is old enough to vote she'll most likely have to pick between Honey Boo Boo and the guy who got hit by a train trying to take a selfie, and there will be an epidemic of poisoning deaths as people on a cleanse resort to drinking bletch because duh not also does it clean out my system and but it also whitens my teeth...

Oh America you big stupid glorious bastard, when will you learn that science is not the enemy and progress is not the aggressor, but Bill Cosby is a lousy bartender, so stay diligent America, because the term trust no one doesn't mean don't trust your doctor when he says you have diabetes so you run home and eat a box of Twinkies in defiance, and it doesn't mean if Obama says breathing air keeps us alive you hold your breath 50 times a day until you get more brain damage then Sarah Palin huffing gasoline at a at a Miley Cyrus concert and it definitely doesn't mean you vote for a man who is so brash, so unqualified so narcissistic as Trump just to stick it to the man who oppresses us by having people wash their hands before returning to work!

Trust no one means be skeptical but not delusional, be aware but not paranoid, be quick to question everything you hear but not quick to condemn empiricalevidence if it proves you wrong. You only get one life, so let's try not to waste it believe nonsense, engaging in crass behavior because hey fuck you political correctness if I want to yell about how bad my balls itch in the middle of a Chuck E Cheese big government can't stop me, and definitely don't waste your life hating the poor and powerless while doing the biding of the rich and powerful, because that my friend is the crazies act of them all.

Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, January 17, 2016

The Kangaroo Court Of Public Opinion

You know all of us are victims of public opinion from one degree or another. Whether its the average Joe at work whose bad reputation makes them so unpopular, they're as likely to get a promotion as your delusional ass is of winning the power ball, or whether your the president on the united states who is so hated that this past week people actually came out for stopping cancer research because the President said during his state of the union this must be the decade we cure cancer. Actually I'm still waiting for Obama to come out and say blowjobs are great so I can watch fellatio rates drop 80 percent among republican men.

Each and everyone one of us have been perceived as a someone who is very different from the person they actually are. Each of us has had something we said twisted and taken totally out of context, or something we did examined so thoroughly through the lens of prejudice that just being seen at the mall with a female friend gets turned into a story about an eyes wide shut orgy lead by the ghost of Errol Flynn. So gossip, rumors and public shamming is nothing new. Just ask any women with the first name of Goodie who lived back in Selam 300 year ago.

What is new is the level of mistrust, hate and batshit crazy conspiracy theories people are will to engage in just to reinforce their confirmation bias. How people go out of their way to turn a non issue into some great psycho drama, like the 14 hour detainment of 10 of our sailors who accidentally drifted into Iran's waters this week, and then were released without incident. You would think this would be a good outcome right...not according to Republicans who now want war with Iran for doing what any country in the world would do if 2 foreign military vassal were in their territory and the president impeached for um I don't know, not getting them back in 8 hours with season 1 through 5 of Dollywood on DVD as a consolation prize for the inconvenience.

Years ago before Obama was even sworn into office I posted on my Myspace blog, give me a break I said it was years ago, that if America was standing on a very dangerous precipice and if we did not learn how to come together to solve our problems and put all our mistrust and partisan bullshit aside we would only divide ourselves into oblivion...well guess what folks, oblivion is here, America is more dysfunctional than a family of racist Alabama meth head getting into a fist fight at the local waffle house because someone spilled grape jam on their confederate flag fanny pack.

So where do we go from here, with a media that now has the integrity of George Zimmerman playing Texas hold um against a group of blind school children, and a conservative party that is so stricken by prejudiced and anger even Archie Bunker would think they've lost their marbles, how do we stop the hate, division, pandering, propaganda, and straight out wholesale of America's soul? It's all about not giving into fear, and not letting your emotions control your logic, too many times over the past few years I've watched friends of mine, people who I generally care about, turn into hateful angry assholes, and instead of being able to admit it was their own hate and anger that drove everyone away, they somehow blame liberals for their failed marriage, gay people for them losing their job and Muslims for their 3rd DWI.

Until each of us can stop pointing fingers, stop blaming others for our own poor decisions and stop persecuting the poor and powerless and start holding the rich and powerful accountable for the mess we're all in, the star spangled banner end of the world super show known as "The World According To Trump" will continue to gather steam and eventually destroy us all.

Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, January 10, 2016

All For Guns, And Guns For All

Well America here we are once again doing a show about guns. And every time I think things have gotten as bad as they can get, when I think the death toll has hit its apex, when I think mass shootings couldn't possibly get any more outrageous, gun absolutist up the ante.

Last week President Obama issued a common sense executive order to try to right in some of the senseless gun violence that has plagued America over the past several years, and gun extremist got angrier than Ted Nugent at a Pansy Division concert. (Only the really hip will get that joke). But this is no joking matter as mass shooting raise to over 300 a year and accidental gun related deaths of children become an everyday occurrence, some on the far right scream the problem isn't guns, it's the lack of guns!

That's right kids if we all had more guns then all the bad guys would simply go home. If we would only arm every man women and child than the murder rate would drop to zero because everyone would be too afraid to commit crimes, because EVERYONE would have a gun to defend themselves. Well I have to call bullshit on that little theory and spit out a theory of my own.

Let's imagine for a moment the gun absolutist utopia, a place where it's all for guns and guns for all, a country where all guns are legal without background checks, or any kind of controls to make sure this deadly tool isn't readily accessible to the average angry nitwit or would-be terrorist. A world where violent felons, dangerous mental patients, and even George Zimmerman can carry any high caliber weapon they wish, anywhere they wish. No gun free zones, no restrictions on how many guns or kind of guns you can own, and no laws punishing unfortunate accidents or those who commit random acts of stupidity per stand your ground, because after all feeling unsafe and unloading your clip into someones chest is all a matter of perspective. Sounds fantastic doesn't it? Well it wouldn't be, not for me not for you and not even to the gun extremist who screams the loudest he needs unlimited gun rights to feel safe and free. And here's why...

In a world where everyone is Allowed to carry a gun, this doesn't mean everyone will CHOOSE to carry a gun. So when Yosemite Sam ventures out to the mall and all he sees are all the people he considers to be a threat, Muslims, Latinos, young black males wearing a hoodie and eating skittles, and they are armed to the teeth, and all his white allies are unarmed and staring blankly into their Iphones...do you really think that guy is going to feel safer, or less angry as he sees he is outnumbered 20 to 1 by those he considers the enemy everywhere he goes? If the idea is for all of us to feel safe, but now instead of being surrounded by the usual angry selfish unreasonable assholes we all have to deal with on a daily bases, we are now surrounded by angry, selfish unreasonable assholes carrying an AR-15 with the male bravado of Macho Man after eat six slim jims, I don't envision the polite armed society gun lovers are always so fond of speaking about.

So it boils down to this, if the only way you can feel truly safe and free is by carrying high tech, high caliber weapons in a place where everyone is armed, paranoid and on edge and their is little to no legal consequences for your actions, then don't petition your congressman for more gun rights, join the military and ask to be sent to Afghanistan, where you can finally find the freedom you've been dreaming about.

Speak Now Consequences Later

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Cool Ranch Militias And Other Tasty Acts Of Rebellion

Special Monday Mini-Episode. We talk Oregon Militia. No Monologue one hour episode with guest: Author Mike Bushman.
 
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Sunday, January 3, 2016

Cosby Or Not Cosby That Is The Question

This week is a special impromptu one hour (or so) episode to kick of the new year. We talk Cosby, celebrate scandals and how it effects the fans and Saucey's new writing gig.

This episode has no guest, no monologue and no Kettle Of Fish after show, just a one hour discussion with your favorite political misfits.


Speak Now Consequences Later

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Goodbye 2015, You Hateful Son Of A Bitch!

Well here we are once again, just a few days away from 2016 and somehow we made it another year with blowing ourselves up, being annihilated by climate change or vomiting our selves into unconsciousness after watching the last few republican debates. 2015 was a horrible year as we saw a significant rise in mass shootings, violent city wide protest involving police abuse and 13 episodes of Scream Queens. It was a year when we were faced with some of the greatest challenges known to mankind, like staving of global warming, figuring out how to defeat ISIS, and how to repair our crumbling infrastructure, yet all Americans really wanted to debate is if Glen from walking dead was alive and what fucking color that blue/gold dress actually was.

You see 2015 really wasn't a year as much as it was a 12 month long low budget reality TV show, a perverted amalgamation of cops meets the apprentice meets girls gone wild meets the Sara Palin YouTube channel. In 2015 official studies proved that the Earth has just experienced it's hottest year ever, while many Americans screamed fraud, that mass shootings reached recorded numbers while many screamed Americans Obama wants to take my gun and that cops are now killing unarmed citizens at alarming rates while many Americans screamed blue lives matter!

2015 saw the worst in crass human behavior while at the same time saw the worst in overly sensitive political correctness. As Trump the insult candidate fought the PC powers-that-be by insulting women, Latinos and even the disabled during the same year people were vehemently attacked for calling Bruce Jenner a man, Rachel Dolezal a Caucasian and the plan parenthood shooter Robert Deer, pro-life.

And things on the republican national stage were even worst, as Dr Giggles AKA Ben Carson actually suffered heavy blows in the polls for admitting he DIDN'T try to beat his mother to death with a hammer and evangelic nut bar Ted Cruz promised to repeal same sex marriage, outlaw abortion, defund plan parenthood and start legislating out of the book of job.

2015 was a horrible year for America. Hate, Racism, Fear and Anti-Government sentiment reached levels never before seen in our life time, while any progress we did make as a country, like a growing GDP, fallen unemployment rate and lower gas prices were either completely ignored or worst yet, flat out reject as part of some Muslim, Communist, Illuminati scheme to take your gun, take your freedom and make you gay marry your dog.

So Goodbye 2015 you Muslim Hating, Primary debating, Football Deflating, Jade Helm Invading, Jared Molesting, Jenner Tranvisting, FICA Investing, Confederate Flag Waving, Dentist Goes Lion Slaying, Kim Davis Praying, Dolezal Race Changing, Spock dying, Spotifing, Please please please be our speaker Paul Ryan, Paris burning, Global warming, Japaneses Robot Swarming, College Butt Chugging, Freedom Caucus all or nothing, Apple Watch Sucking, Gay Marriage Passed and still No Goat Fucking, Volkswagen Poisoning, Red Cups Annoying, Cop Abusing, Hillary email access refusing, Ben Carson Stabbing, Ashley Madison Hacking, Anonymous Exposing, War On Christmas Frozen, Star Wars Trolling, Trump Fascism, Congress Angry Schism, Ted Nugent is still the biggest douche bag Living, John Steward Leaving, Zimmerman Tweeting, 47 Republicans commit borderline treason, no quick draw 3rd season, Josh Dugger caught cat fishing, Martin Shkreli Profit Tripping, Clock Boy Ticking, 12 months of sickening, hateful fear mongering social media memes and misinformation go fuck your self of a year....and that is my final say for 2015

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Sunday, December 13, 2015

War Is Ho Ho Hell!

Ah remember how great life was before the war on Christmas, back when you took your kids to the mall to sit on Jesus lap and confess their sins, instead of some fat bearded heathen whose name sounds suspiciously similar Satan and who promises to reward the children who are nice with presents instead of punishing the children who are naughty with eternal damnation. Yep those were the days my friend back when a Very Peanuts Christmas Special stared Moses, Noah and a lovable camel named Charity, that is before that Jew Charles Schulz replaced them with a balding 8 year old loser a codependent Nancy Boy and a hippie dog who was always so hoped up on poppers he thought he was the Red Barron. How about back when family owned coffee shops only served coffee out of mugs illustrated with a nativity scenes and croissants in the shape of crosses, fishes and the face of Kirk Cameron, of course that was before liberal corporate hipsters ran the honest hardworking Christians out of the java game and started serving their own communist brew out of solid red devil cups.

You know evangelic Christians love to scream how America has taken the Christ out of Christmas, but was he ever really there? Just like most people are too busy shoveling turkey into their face and arguing politics with their drunk uncle on Thanksgiving to really take a moment to honor the coming together of the native Americans and the pilgrims, and just like most people use the forth of July as an excuse to get frat boy drunk and blow shit up because hey it is a 3 day weekend after all and I would really love to stick it to the Muslims couple who live down the street by blasting some Damn Yankees over our rented PA system instead of actually celebrating th founding of our country by taking a moment to remember those who died to ensure our freedom, most Americans see the Christmas Holidays as a season of mass consumerism, a race to see which parent can get their kids the most recent iPhone. For all but the most pious minded in this country Christmas has never really been a religious holiday, but take some snowflakes of a coffee cup and the Christian community flips out and goes to threat level mocha! And Why?

Because there is a sickness in America and it's name is the Christian extremism. Now if you take that last sentence as an attack on anyone who has every step foot into a church and not for what it actually is, an indictment of one particular sect of the Christian Community gone wild, then chances are you're part of the problem. Although I myself don't fallow any particular religion, you couldn't find anyone who could care less what religion you choose to follow and live your life by whether it be Christianity, Islam, Buddhist or Scientologist...OK maybe I went too far with that last one.

And I think most of us feel the same way, so when you have to constantly play the victim just to feel important whether it's because the local high school changed the theme of their holiday play from "The Passion of the Christ" to "Santa Claus is coming to town", or because the Disney channel is only airing a 6 hour veggie tales marathon instead of their usual 9 hour one, this doesn't mean you're oppressed! I've said it before and I'll say it again, just because you want to be more Christlike doesn't mean you have to climb up on your cross and become a martyr every time you feel offended. Christmas is the one time of the year you should actually feel good about your follow humans, regardless of their faith and celebrate world around you...don't worry you can be a narcissistic prick the other 10 and a half months of the year and no one will chide you for it, but leave Christmas alone, it belongs to everybody even us heathens.

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Sunday, November 15, 2015

Act Of Courage, Act Of Defiance, Act Out!

This Week No Special One Hour Episode on activism with Eleanor Goldfield from Act out! The Ignorance Equation will be back Sunday December 13th with our special Holiday Episode.
 
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Sunday, November 8, 2015

Check Yourself Before You Polically Correct Yourself

This week no monologue, instead a special Badger's Pissed Off News. Enjoy!
 
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Monday, November 2, 2015

Freedom To Be Dumb

Welcome to 21st century America, where we have personal assistants, personal hygiene products, personal trainers, personal injury lawyers, personal loans, personal drivers, personal messenger, personal hair care products, personal security, personal tax exemptions, personal days off, even personal accountants, the one thing 21st century Americans don't seem to have anymore is Personal Accountability. This past Wednesday during The Republican National Debates at least 6 of the candidates when questioned about the problems in the states they were in charge of, the companies they have ran or even their own voting record, or lack there of, Marco Rubio I'm looking at you, all said the problems in their states and companies had nothing to do with them, even though they were the ones in charge, and I have to ask is that leadership?

When did the party of personal responsibility become the party of it's the other guys fault. A great many Americans now think Republicans are crazier then Randy Quad cutting viral videos from his panic room after a 3 day bath salt bender, and it's all because of the totally outrageously over the top bullshit THEY constantly spew and of instead of admitting their own role in it all, they blame the media for pointing out how fucking insane Todd Akin is when he says rape victims have super powers that can prevent them from getting pregnant. Wow Todd, really your not the one with the problem it's just lame stream media making you look bad? Well then maybe Charles Manson wasn't batshit crazy either maybe he just had lousy PR.

We use to do a segment on this show called "Own Your Words", where I would search different articles on Facebook and then challenge the people in the comment threads spouting off pure nonsense to call into our show and logically explain WHY they think Obama has an evil army of the 12 Ebola monkeys waiting to attack god fearing Americans and guess what not one...not even one person accepted my challenge, now In all fairness they did call me a socialist, communist, libtard sheep whose family should be murdered. But you know I kinda had that coming! They never once called into the show and defended their position, but why? They obviously feel very passionate in their believes that PBS taking public funds to educated poor preschoolers proves The Children Television Workshop is the head of a secret Marxist cabal that sends subliminal messages to our children during Elmo's happy tummy dance programming them to boycott Chick Fila because they don't carry rainbow flavored Doritos in their happy meals. So why not own your words, call our show and share your totally logical well thought out opinions? Squiggle Squiggle. I'll tell you why because they are running of pure emotion and feel entitled to destroy the facts as they see fit. This is America after all and the constitution does guarantee us the freedom to be dumb.

So in closing, well actually I have no closing today I was just too damn busy to finish this rant...but it's not my fault Duane kept posting articles on my page to read and Dee asked me to take out the garbage and Fern posted a carton about a talking toilet I can't seem to get out of my head....yeah see it's everyone else bringing me down. Free-Dumb!


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Sunday, October 25, 2015

It's 2015 And I Want My Flying Car, Dammit!

This past Wednesday we celebrated October 21st 2015, the day Marty McFly went into the future, but is the future really all it is cracked up to be? After all we were promised cool ass hover boards and flying cars and what we actually got was crummy iwatcches and shitty Mathew Mccanohey commercials. No Robo-Butlers, No Family Vacations to the Moon and No self lacing sneakers, just reality TV shows, Obnoxious Politicians and a million little hypnotic screens that have turned our youth into the Stepford Children!

Growing up my dad was fond of saying Time is what stops everything from happening at once, but if we're listening to lousy water down mass producer music on the Spotify ap on our Iphones while texting the person sitting next to us, while talking on a headset to our cousin in Omaha while playing them in Grand theft auto 9 on our X-box one with a live streaming cam while simultaneously chewing a mouth full of bacon cheddar chicken poppers while glancing over at our tablets every 6 seconds to see if we got any new Facebook or Twitter updates so we can know what new faux news story we are suppose to be terrified and angry about this week, while the whole time thinking how the hell am I going to pay for all this since work cut my hours because of some vast conspiracy theory involving Ebola Monkeys, The Illuminati and that William Shatner movie where he only speaks in Esperanto that we don't really understand but we are absolutely are convinced is fact, then isn't time kinda happening all at once already?

30 years ago Back To The Future came out in theaters and as a kid it made me believe the future would be a wondrous dreamscape full of technological advancements for the betterment of all mankind and human enlightenment that would propel us in to a Star Trek like universe of Intergalactic Space Travel, Selfless Altruism and the pursuit of Knowledge. Sadly the 80s and 90's came and went with only Seinfeld reruns to show for it and the new millennium that sounded so futurist just ended up being a 30 second
Cailis ad played at the beginning of a Gangnam Style YouTube video.

So here we are Marty McFly, the real year 2015 and we still have a long way to go before people are much more evolved and the future is actual as futuristic as we all thought it would be, looking to the new future of 2050 through 2070 as now seen in many sci-fi movies I can't help wondering to myself if time travel ever really did become a reality would any of us even have enough of that child like hope and optimism left that we would want to travel 30 years into the future, or would we be terrified of discovering an even more idiotic and narcissistic world where Honey Boo Boo is President and the newest technology involves a device that can remove poop from any animal's colon and teleported it directly into our friends mouth as a practical joke? That's right kids your future so bright you gotta wear reflective mouth guards that keep out the pounds of racoon feces that your friends will eventually be trying to send there, but don't worry i'm sure congress will try to pass a law against it and some extremist party of the future will protest it in the name of freedom. Which proves the old adage the more things change the more they stay insane!!!

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Sunday, October 4, 2015

Bern Baby Bern!

The Socialist are coming! The Socialist are coming! That's right kids Senator Bernie Sanders from Vermont is running for the Democratic Nomination and if he gets in we all know what that means!!!! Socialism, Communism, Marxism, and Vulcan Politics will rule the day, live long and prosper sucker!!!!

Because having a Democratic Socialist for President to many people means you'll be forced to give all your possessions to the guy to the left of you, and the Pentagon will be turned into a hippie commune run by a drunken Charlie Sheen! But in reality, and I know most people in America are not huge fans of reality anymore, Bernie Sanders is a proven common sense reformer whose number one goal is to get money out of politics and fix our broken political system.

But like the good little Pavlovian hamsters we have all been conditioned to be, we hear a word like socialism and freak out, and if you thought people lost their minds when the so call secret socialist became President, wait until a self declared democratic socialist gets the nomination we'll have people dry humping sock puppets and drinking their own urine out of sippy cups they will be so bat shit crazy over it.

Now I could go into a huge long winded monologue about Sander's platform and proven political record, but I have a feeling it will only be drowned out by the far right screaming Stalinist at me, so I encourage everyone to listen to today's episode with an open mind, and do the research yourself, because when you think about it me doing all the research and then sharing what I found with you is intellectual socialism...and that is just a slipper slope to spiritual socialism and then next comes emotional socialism and then of course comes legalized animal fornication...you heard me listen to today's show and then research Bernie Sanders platform on your own or your a pro goat fucking Socialist Marxist Tuna Fish Sandwich.

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Sunday, September 27, 2015

The Clock Heard Round The World

Wanna make White Conservative Christians angry, like really angry, I'm talking pot smoking lesbians handing out rainbow colored Doritos with mint Gelips while wearing Tori Amos tee shirts at a pro choice rally angry...say the word Muslim. It's kinda like the word Benghazi except without the 3 year, 5 million dollar investigation and stupid Darrel Issa Twitter Tantrums!

This past week a 14 year old student by the name of Ahmed Mohamed, you know what fuck it lets just call him clock-boy, because really what American is going to put down their X-Box controller and bacon wrapped cheese poppers long enough to learn some Muslim kids name, so as I was saying 14 year old clock boy was arrested this past week for bringing in a project he claimed was a quint little homemade clock to demonstrate his scientific ingenuity, but many feared was a sophisticated homemade bomb with the blast radius of a Ted Nugent press conference.

And the outcome? Well as usual fear wins the day and things quickly spun out of control.

And how fearful were school officials this device was actually a bomb? Well Fearful enough to call the police and have this ticking honor student arrest, yet somehow not fearful enough to close down the school and run for cover. Oh wait little Ahmed is about to go Jihad in 6th period English class, well you just march your little kamikaze ass down to the principals office young man oh and don't forget your ticking briefcase Principal Cummings has never seen one of these things outside of a Mission Impossible movie.

Now like most issues in America, a simple case of a childhood misunderstanding or maybe even a childhood prank gone wrong has turned into a culturally divided battle royal that's so vitriol it makes Ann Coulter on bath salts look like Mary Poppins singing to animated forest creatures.

And what have we learned from this whole two week media bananza of little Ahmed the mad clock king of the 9th grade, not much except that many Americans are angry and scared. Their angry and fearful of Muslims, and of ISIS and of Terrorist, and of a half dozen countries in the Middle East most Americans couldn't find with a magical talking map and a spunky little Latino friend who never gives up.

You see in reality most Americans don't really understand what their frightened of because the sad truth is most Americans don't know Shiite from Shinola and think The Sunies are the bald guys that use to give out flowers at the airport. So forgive me if I am not all that eager to buy into your bullshit conspiracy theories that the Muslim kid working the Orange Julius stand at the mall is really part of some secret terrorist cell who is just making waffle fries while planning for the afterlife.

While researching the show this week I learned a lot about Muslim Americans, but more importantly I learned I don't know a lot about Muslim Americans, and that's OK, it doesn't make me angry or fearful, it makes me interested and curious to know more about their culture, religion and their struggles here in our country. So while many Americans continue to fear Muslims, and illegals, and gay people and atheist and I don't know Peanuts M&Ms and freaking bean bag chairs, I have no fear, because it's not in my nature to hate or fear things I may not quite understand...except for the Sarah Palin Youtube channel now that's fucking terrifying!

Speak Now Consequences Later
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Sunday, September 20, 2015

The Worst Episode Ever!

Today we are doing our "Worst Episode Ever" So I'm going to do my worst monologue ever. Ready? I'm A Tuna Fish Sandwich!

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Thursday, September 17, 2015

Special I'm The True Washington Outsider Mini-Episode

Special Thursday Post Primary Wrap Up Mini-episode. No Monologue. Panel Guest: Author Geoffrey Kabaservice


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Sunday, September 13, 2015

Give Unto Caesar!

I remember a time not long ago when Christians were the most moral, and in many ways most humble, people I had ever met. Sure, once in a while an overzealous Christian Crusader would approach me at the food court and try to shove some corny "Bad Bob" cartoon pamphlets into my hands, warning me of the perils of my atheism and of the damnation that awaited me if I didn't repent and find Jesus; to which I would usually reply, Find Jesus? I'm sorry has he gone missing? Maybe he's at the Gap buying a new turtleneck sweater.

And sure, maybe every once and a while some lone religious nutball would come out screaming that if I played my Jon Bon Jovi record backwards, it would summon the demon Asmodeus who would gain control of my mind and make me take a machete to the Forman family next door during little Kevin's Confirmation party. But all in all, most Christians I knew growing up were good, fair-minded people who didn't scream oppression every time The Disney Channel moved Veggie Tales to a new time slot; and they most certainly didn't spread fear and hate against the poor and most powerless among us all in the name of Jesus.

So what happened? What turned this humble, kind and mostly harmless congregation of Peacefully Pius-Minded Individuals into an angry mob of sign-waiving, overall-wearing tricorner hatted victims of Atheism and Government? I'll tell you what happened: exactly what our forefathers warned us of, we allowed Church and State to merge into some fire and brimstone Joe McCarthy amalgamation of Sarah Palin meets Pontius Pilate.

Christians went from being down with G.O.D. to be down with G.O.P. The church started preaching politics, and politicians became beholden to the Church for votes; so the politics of Christianity oddly enough, became the politics of empowering Big Corporations, ignoring the poor, blaming the powerless, and turning away the huddle masses yearning to break free; you know all the things Jesus was against.

Over the past 5 or 6 years I have noticed a disturbing trend in the Christian community, a trend of self-entitlement along with self-victimization. A growing feeling of unrest that the corrupt "powers that be" are going to start rounding up Christians and feeding them to the lions; because after all- giving gay people the equal right to marry is a slippery slope towards Christian Genocide! And as that fear grows from the smallest perceived slight against their religion; whether it is removing the word God from A Pepsi can, or taking the ten commandments down off the courthouse lawn, (both by the way are issues Atheist and Agnostics could care less about), Republican leadership has manipulated the Christians voter into rushing to the polls with the promise of delivering more and more far-right evangelical extremists into office, who are so moral they spend their Sunday mornings doing lines of coke of the backs of Vegas show girls while you're in church tithing 10 percent of your paycheck to support them.

This past week in Kentucky, another so-called Oppressed Christian Martyr, Kim Davis, spent 5 days in jail for refusing to comply with a supreme court order to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. Seems to me this modern day Joan of Arc of the South had many choices in this situation that didn't have to involve incarceration. She could could have allowed a deputy clerk to issue the licenses, but noooo- in her twisted religious fervor, that would make her just as responsible for all the vile gay sex that was going to happen on the honeymoon as if she strapped on a dildo and went to town and the bride herself! She could have quit her job, but hey- who ever said being a martyr meant you had to take a pay cut? Or she could have just done her job and understood that issuing a marriage licensee is not the same as endorsing the marriage, much in the same way that you can be a vegan cashier at food lion and still ring people up for the case of the pork cheese chicken poppers they're about to shove down their throats, without compromising your vegetarian values.

And I get it, I understand the appeal of playing the victim and receiving all the attention that being a good little soldier of god brings, especially when fighting the corrupt forces of Caesar; and after all who is more Caesar-like that our Muslim Mad King Obama? But hey, just because you endeavor to be more Christlike doesn't mean you have to climb up on your cross every time someone is acting in a way you consider to be offensive.

In closing I'd like to remind everyone that today's episode is NOT an indictment of Christianity, but an observation of what I see as the disastrous effects of allowing the church to become so entangled with the state that there is practically no telling them apart, and if you think I am talking about all, or even most Christians, then you're probably part of the problem, and as we speak I bet you're drawing up some kind of Wile E. Coyote blueprints to go verbal jihad all over my Facebook page, which is fine, because I learned a long time ago to hate the hateful idiot's rhetoric and not the hateful idiot.

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Sunday, August 30, 2015

Our Melting Pot Boileth Over!

Today we are going to talk about illegal immigration and like most things in America if you are not an ardent anti-illegal absolutist who wants to repeal the 14th amendment, build a 1200 mile long super wall with one way turnstiles we can push anchor babies through while droning anyone in a sombrero who comes within 20 miles of the American boarder then of course that can only mean you hate America, love illegals and are too much of a politically correct pussy to tell those "Wetbacks to get the Fuck out of our Country!"

Now to put my view on illegal immigration into some context here let me tell all you true blue Americans a little story, about 20 years ago I was sitting in a Friendly Ice Cream Shop having lunch with a friend of mine, she was a gorgeous blond gal from South Africa who had never bothered to get her papers in order and really wasn't too concerned about the fact she was here illegally. This friend, whose name was Elzanne was calibrating the fact she had just gotten a new job as a bartender, which prompted me to ask how the hell did you get a job if your here illegally, to which she said with a smug grin, well when your willing to work for tips only, do you really think the owner even looked at anyone else application.

Now I guess she thought as her friend I would high five her and say way to stick it to the man, but instead I chastised her and asked her how just could sit there and smile knowing that she just took away a job opportunity of someone who plays by the rules and is here legally, not expecting me to challenge her she quickly changed the subject and refused to talk about it.

So there you have it, my sense of fair play and respect for the rule of law summed up in one quick little anecdote. So when people say not wanting to shove Guatemalan refugee children back into the arms of waiting drug dealers, is somehow the same as wanting to open up the boarders and turn America into Mexico-Adjacent I have to call bullshit.

And I also have to call bullshit on a new but emerging string of conspiracy theories and suspensions directed towards the Latino community, Like the one spewed out by this Joe Doughnut, from here in good old Tennessee, who has started a movement in his town to run Taco Bell out of business for being: too Mexican (whatever the hell that means) and because they are agents of the Mexican Government sent here to infiltrate us and...I don't know make us all cover ourselves in nacho cheese tip and scream Ole during sex?

Now this was just the first shot fired in what I predict will soon be an explosion of Anti-Latino hysteria.

So as a humble servant of the people, I feel it is my duty to help these paranoid patriotic pinheads come up with their next batch of Bat-Shit Crazy Anti-Hispanic Conspiracy Theories. Here are just a few to get the old screwball rolling-

1) Telemundo the very popular Spanish language broadcast network, is actually part of a Nefarious Mexican Cabal that uses the station to send out subliminal Anti-Caucasian messages during reruns of The George Lopez Show.

2) Jennifer Lopez's Bodacious Booty was actually genetically enhanced by Brazilian scientists in order to set unrealistic expectations of what a girl's ass should look like, thereby turning Americans off of breeding with white women, and driving them into the "Malvadas Garras" of Sexy Senoritas!

3) The "press number two for Spanish" option on most automated customer service phone menus actually cues you into the secret headquarters of the "Los Zetas" drug cartel, so Latin American agents can receive further instructions on how to get more Spanish Fly to Bill Cosby

4) Rico Suave is the Latino Anti-Christ who was sent here in the 80's to introduce Shitty Latin Music to the American culture and warp our tastes so bad that we would actually think doing "The Macarena" was a good idea. Oh wait I kind of believe this one!

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Sunday, August 23, 2015

Save The Pharma For Your Momma

Last week I saw a something that read, "The Same Gov't that Locks People in Jail for Cannabis, Just Approved Oxycontin for Young Children" followed by a very disturbing article about how the FDA just approved the highly addictive prescription drug Oxycontin for children as young as 11 years old, and my first thought was "What, are they high!"

America makes up only 5 percent of the world's population, yet uses 50 percent of the world's pharmaceuticals. And with alarming numbers like that, I can't help but to ask myself: why? What makes Americans sicker and more mentally unstable than our friends in Sweden or pals in Germany? Why are we gobbling up dangerous, highly additive prescription drugs like Percocet and Adderal while locking others in jail for years just for smoking a little pot? And why is it that finding a doctor to prescribe you any pharmaceuticals your little manic-depressive strung-out heart could desire is easier than finding a law and order marathon on basic cable?

The answer to that question, unfortunately, is the same as the answer to most questions in this country, m-o-n-e-y: MONEY! How much Money? Crazy Money, dump trucks full of money, more money then there are shitty "Straight Outta Whatever" memes on Facebook. So much money that the grand total big pharma rakes in every year tops out at almost 100 billion dollars. Just imagine how many kids we could send to college with that money; but then again if we educated our children they would be well adjusted adults with good jobs who would know how to deal with the stress of their coffeemaker being on the fritz without having to run to their doctor for a Xanax refill. Because the hard reality is, most well educated kids from well adjusted homes don't grow up to be paranoid anxiety-ridden whackjobs and you're never going to sell your pills and guns with record profits year after year without that demographic, so yeah, lets just keep medicating otherwise mentally stable people, putting them in shitty, stressful, low paying jobs and handing them high caliber weapons. What's the worst that could happen?

Now on the other end of this spectrum we have those thumb their noses at our glorious pharmaceutical empire and self medicate, usually by using alcohol and marijuana, because let's face it- the only people who can afford to eat ecstasy everyday, not have a job, and go to clubs all night: their Daddies are already already on the board of directors at Pfiser! But for the rest of us working class slobs who don't want to take a prescription drug that has more consonants in its name than a New York city cab driver, it's the bottle or the bong baby! And how does society treat people who choose the natural high of marijuana over the pharmaceutical high of Zoloft? They pass draconian anti-drug laws that they enforce with more ardent douchebaggery than the soup Nazi...you smoke a joint, no freedom for you!

So there you have it, marijuana and holistic medicine vs big pharma, good vs evil, mellow vs crazy. Who has it right? I'll let you be the judge, but let me leave you with this closing thought.

I grew up with a lot of people who smoked pot on a regular basis and for the most part they all became well adjusted, intelligent, successful adults. I also grew up with a lot of people whose parents started them off young on behavior modifying prescription drugs to cope with the world around them, and those people grew up to be Donald Trump supporters- so you make the call.

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